I feel I've finally properly connected with the grief I feel over my childhood losses, but I'm afraid to cry it out! I thought I'd share my fears here to help me move forward..

For a while now, I've wanted to 'lose control' - which would mean crying freely.. I've controlled myself so much it's like I've been in prison inside my own body..

But I fear the crying will be too overwhelming.. I fear it'll actually be physically too painful! BUT, I realise what actually does hurt my body is holding the pain in.. I believe once I get over the initial discomfort, releasing the emotions will be a relief.

I also still have some embarrassment when it comes to crying.. I don't want to be seen as weak. But I know now there are people in my life who'll accept me even when I am weak.. So that's all good, really

Thank you for 'listening'