Absolutely get the mourning part! I spent too many yrs being upset over the life i had/lost ,why me this happen to/I'm a good person,why,why....then after yrs of therapy had to realize well,hell, the mental illness is here and has not gone away. So...i had to make peace with the idea that OMG, i have a mental illness but so what! In my case, Im still the same me who has likes/dislikes,has a family,job,hobbies-all of which i can be a part of -on meds,with therapy,with monitoring, with self care in place.

And yes,as many have said,i did in some ways become a better person. Before,everything was black/white..now i have room for gray areas,more compassion/empathy for others,able to realize that the things i was upset about before...are not earth shattering in the bigger picture of life. Had i not had major depressive episode,fallen apart-i would never have developed the skills that helped me survive awful divorce,help my child through a very traumatic event..etc

So do I sometimes say to the universe,enough, i need a break-YES. But other days,in my case, I look at others who have situations so much worse than mine and say,well. Im ok...just trying figure out what life I can/do have.