Hello livelaughlove: Members here on PC who know me know I am fond of the writings of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. And in her writings Ani Pema teaches that the people who cause us to become angry, sad, frustrated, or irritable, as well as people in whom we delight, are our teachers. They show us where we're stuck. And in fact, often, the things about other people we find to be most intolerable are often the aspects of ourselves we find most unacceptable & would most wish to keep buried.

So, from that perspective, exposing ourselves to people who "push our buttons", so to speak, is a good thing. It presents us with opportunities to become more self-aware & to develop compassion both for ourselves as well as others. Now of course, having written that, there's a limit to everything! At least that's my personal perspective. One can only take so much. And I think it's important for us to be "mindful" of how we're doing so that, hopefully, if-&-when we begin to simply reach our limit with regard to a given situation... or person... we have the opportunity to take some type of constructive action to remedy the situation (including just removing ourselves from the premises) before we lose control of our own emotions & perhaps explode with anger ourselves, fall deeper into depression, or whatever. Creating that kind of space in our day-to-day lives is a large part of what Ani Pema teaches. So I think she would agree... (hopefully...)

Anyway, I don't know if any of that answers your question. But it's what occurred to me as I read your post. I wish you well...