Hi,

I've written here before about some of my recent experiences with counselors. I had been seeing a counselor with whom I had an excellent working relationship. We worked together for about three years. He moved away about 1 1/2 years ago. Since then, I have seen a number of other counselors and therapists, trying to find another one who seemed like it would be a good match. It's been hard. For one reason or another, none of the counselors have worked out, and I guess I've seen maybe 7 of them now. The past year especially has been rocky, with the worst depression I've probably had in my whole life, and I was in the hospital for depression several times over the winter. If the world were perfect, and I could meet a counselor that I could afford and reach by public transit, and all those pieces fell into place - it would probably be beneficial to be in counseling. I'm starting to wonder, though, about how long one continues to look for a counselor? I'm really disillusioned and discouraged with the process.

The last counselor was one I met about two months ago. We had the first session, which seemed okay. The next session wasn't very good. Then he went on vacation for three weeks. When he got back, I was extremely ill and went through weeks of medical testing. I was too sick to do three hours of travel each way to see him. He didn't seem interested that I was having medical problems. I tried to call and email to reschedule at a later point, and it took him a couple of weeks to respond. It didn't seem like he was interested in being involved in the counseling process, or that he cared at some level. I can understand being busy, or wanting to maintain some professional distance, but I think the counselor can at least respond to set up an appointment; after all, this is his livelihood. I decided to let that working relationship go for now. I didn't close the door permanently, but don't feel inclined to return for the moment. And with my health issues, to be honest, I'm really not up to that long of a commute on public transit right now anyway.

I'm almost inclined to try to handle things on my own for now, without the support of a mental health professional, but I think that is really problematic as well. I wish I had a better idea of what to do. I wish there were better answers.

Thanks for listening to me think out loud, I guess.

Take care,
ErinBear