Hey. I don't think you suck. I don't think we choose who we feel attracted to - it just happens. I have a tendency to feel attracted to married or otherwise not available people. Don't know if this is a tendency for you or not, but I understand that it surely does suck when you know that nothing is gonna happen.

Good on you for making that decision :-) Some people don't seem to be able to do that and things always turn out to be really rather problematic as a consequence of that. I don't figure I could be with someone who left someone else to be with me. I'd be even more paranoid than I would be already that they would leave me to be with someone else.

> I work with 1400 men, why do I have to pick one who's married??

Did you know he was married before you developed a crush on him or not?? I'm just curious...

> he sends mixed messages.

He is probably very flattered indeed :-) It feels wonderful to know that someone likes us. Even if nothing more is going to happen it can feel nice. And... You should feel flattered that he feels flattered too. It must mean that he likes you.

I guess I think that there isn't anything wrong with liking someone. One is free to like whoever... It is just about looking out for oneself with ones actions. And... Maybe trying not to pine too much?

> He doesn't speak very kindly of his wife either. Why do men do that? I told him if he doesn't have anything nice to say about her, then don't say it. Nothing in common, no sex, doesn't know why he married her...blah, blah, blah.

Lol. Maybe a little dwelling on his not so nice qualities will help you appreciate that you aren't his wife!

:-)