Well, I am not quite sure how to put this, but I will do my best. Straight to the point, I am A 40 yr. old male that wears adult diapers for both incontinence and pleasure. But not sexual pleasure.
I always have had a desire to wear them since about 8 years old. I was sexually abused by a relative for a short time at around age 6. I have been awkward and shy all my life and was bullied a lot. I have bipolar disorder, along with other mental health issues and physical ones as well.
When I first was suggested by my doctor to wear something for by incontinence problem, due to an accident I felt like less of a man. I did it but felt gross but didn't have much of a choice because I was always wetting myself, especially at night.
To the point, because of the anxiety issues I have , I have found that when I put one on, It Calms me down within a minute or too. I have Klonopin I can take for such attacks, but the diaper make me feel relaxed, safe and secure.
I now wear 24/7 and I have not had a panic or anxiety attack in a long time, but without them, I can't cope. It like separation anxiety.
Let me make this clear though, I don't find anything sexually arousing at all, so is this a fetish, or a means of coping? Is it ok to do this if it helps me or is it wrong? I feel ashamed of myself sometimes for doing it and my faith in god, doesn't accept it.
Anyones thoughts? I'm may not be in the right category, but am looking for some help. I get regular counseling, and have a phychiatrist but am not comfortable enough to talking about it

Help please!!!!!