Hey. I can totally relate to you. This is how I've been 4 months ago when I discovered about this disorder and felt like all that I've been, all I've felt, all I've done. My entire life was written on that page. For the next week or so I read all that I could on internet. I too am not clinically diagnosed. Then I got frustrated, I couldn't go on in life like this. But I was too embarrassed to ask help from anyone. Whenever I try to open up or leave subtle hints about my condition I end up punishing myself for being too dumb or wasting other's time on someone like me. So yeah. It's been definitely more than 4 months and I haven't been able to do anything about this. I too am soon going to have to take some really important decisions and go to Uni but I don't think I can do anything.
I really hope you could do something about this and not end up like me. I wish you all the very best. Just try. After all, that's all we can really do.