I hope you can stop feeling angry and disgusted with yourself. These kinds of things are hard for some of us. I know because I have found those kind of situations really hard too. I've wanted to stop therapy when I was really upset and overwhelmed with emotion, but realised I didn't want to stop when I had calmed down again. I'm much better about that kind of thing now but it's been a gradual and bumpy journey.
Please try to be gentle with yourself and realise that this does not mean you are a bad person. It just means that you are struggling to cope. But you are doing your best and it will get easier.
I hope when you do meet with your T that they will be understanding of these difficult emotions, and perhaps you can both think of a plan for how to handle a similar situation if it happens again.