Gosh do I have a story about anger in therapy.

It was easy-ish for me--my therapist withheld everything I needed to provoke my anger. It worked! I got really angry at him and started feeling angry at the world, or so it seemed sometimes...

It really has paid off. My depression started to lift shortly thereafter. I still have issues, but I feel a lot kinder and more content now. Actually, a lot more balanced now. And feeling and voicing the anger somehow permanently changed my cognitive processes, which prior to this, automatically directed anger at myself (eg, feeling sui, feeling 'stabbing' feelings) due to how my caregiver related to me growing up. I had fear of abandonment and rejection and other consequences if I showed anger.

I couldn't do the angry chair thing, not at all. Or punch pillows, etc. I thought the way my therapist did this was very effective, though extremely difficult to deal with feeling like that. It was like it grew to the point of no return--I couldn't control it all the time (although I could control my behaviors to a certain extend), and I ended up letting it leak out outside of therapy too much, and it took me a long time to accept it in my life. Like you, like many, I didn't process anger in a healthy way.

It also made me realize it's one of those things one can actively do to help stamp out depression. But that's hindsight. My temperment as a young child was pretty calm and delicate, and my last therapist said that some people just don't have as much aggression as others, but my current therapist sure knew how to bring it out. If you think about it-everyone has the capacity. An infant crying, for example, ranges from anger to rage. So I think anyone with a capacity to go back to those young feelings can access that anger. It takes making yourself really vulnerable, imo.

If you can do it, I think it's worth it. For me, it wasn't really a choice--he did things in a manner, and for a certain length of time, where it was nearly impossible to not feel angry and express it/externalize it. He pushed me right to the point where I almost quit (for real). Not sure how it works with a therapist who is very giving all the time.

A position of vulnerability must be obtained before going there, I believe. For those who fear anger, I think it only becomes a possibility if you feel safe with your therapist.

I also think balance is the key to many aspects of life. Feeling and expressing some anger from time to time as a way of life will help balance things out.