Yeah....I "know" that....crying all the time feeling. Ya know what I thought of once though....that in some strange way...I was purging. So...in that...I was at least feeling something and not just numb to everything. The pain and sadness hurt...I know. I often think my heart may break under the strain. It keeps goin though...just like we must try to. I know you feel like you cannot go on...but you must search your soul through this...to find meaning for your existence in the "now". The one thing I know about depression well is that it brings us closer to "spiritual matters". So in this perhaps you will find your solace and comfort. Everyone here has a "meaning". No one is any less important than anyone else. King Solomon pondered these very thoughts in the book of Ecclesiastes....when he suffered "vexation of spirit".
Take care 'Starfishblue"...by your search...you are on the road to healing. I pray for comfort for you...
m.b.