Quote:
Originally Posted by cryingchild
Hey thankyou for all the replies.Its nice to know that there are others going through this and its not just me.Its really weird cause I even find myself wanting to hurt myself when Ive had a brilliant day.I just keep thinking to myself "You dont deserve a good day must punish yourself" Crazy or what.I have been self harming for 9 years now,all my therapists said Id grow out of it boy were they so wrong.....I seem to have grown more into it and its the only lifestyle ive ever known.....I would not say Im happy far from it but I feel I have to do this to myself to keep me feeling normal if there is such a word..
|
I just wanted to say that I feel you. I feel exactly the same. Even if someone appreciated me for something I feel as if that was my duty and I didn't deserve that praise. So I should punish myself for taking something more than what I deserve. Cutting makes me feel as if I am still living. I sometimes cut to feel something other than this numbness and sometimes I cut to not feel anything at all- I crave that numbness. The feeling I get when I cut is indescribable, it cannot be expressed only felt. I must not be making any sense but does anyone else feel this way?