Whether you ultimately leave him or not, it is important that you squirrel some money away in your own savings account. Make your children the beneficiaries. I have one. It is not a checking account and I have no checks or debit card so that it would be convenient to spend any money from this account. It is for emergencies. I make sure something--if only $20.00, goes in it every month. When you are taking care of three, the chance of an emergency is at least 3 times greater. Your self esteem is low so you are not saving because you are not valuing yourself. Think of it as saving for your children. Perhaps that will motivate you. If you save consistently and for a longer period of time, perhaps the money will make eventually leaving him less scary. Or he could change -- don't assume he will but I think anything is possible. I do not ever plan to leave my H, yet I need to have my own savings account in my name only. I firmly believe that everyone needs to have this. While your H is working, please, please do this....