I have this recurring fantasy. When I'm listening to the radio and driving, I imagine I'm back in HS, auditioning for rock ensemble. I'm singing as well as the singer on the radio and I look like how I would have liked myself to look, and all the guys are dumbfounded by my talent and beauty.

I have done this since I was that girl in HS. In truth, I did audition for rock ensemble, I was a very good singer and got in, I didn't look how I wanted to look, and the boys kinda liked me. But... I was promiscuous in order to be with them. Really low self esteem.

So, I know why I have that dumb fantasy. Low self esteem and huge ego. I never grew out of it, still having these intrusive thoughts at 50. It's one of my many pink elephants!