I've had three serious relationships in my lifetime, and I never was one to go out on "dates."

The first two really just started out as friendships. We got to know each other through involvement in common activities, and the friendships just sort of organically evolved into serious commitment. I dated both of those individuals for several years. Eventually we moved on for various reasons. While we were very devoted to each other, we knew we really weren't meant for marriage. We parted well, without drama.

My husband was quite different. I was aware of him through church, but we didn't really know each other. One day he just blurted out a request for a date. So yes, there was a first day; however, he was my last first date. We knew fairly immediately that we were serious about each other, and within a month we were engaged. Next month is our 30th wedding anniversary. I guess it was as close to love at first sight as can be. I think my husband was much more sure about that from the beginning than I was, but it has been lasting. (He claims he told his cousin he was going to marry me before we had even met. True, that sounds about creepy if you don't know our story - the running joke in our house is that my kids say "Dad was a stalker" - but he just knew.)

My parents were very similar. My dad was in the Air Force and met my mother when he went home with a buddy during Christmas leave. Apparently my father fell in love with my mother right away, and once a month for the next four months when he had his monthly weekend leave, he hitchhiked from Dover, Delaware, to Lockport, New York, to see my mother. Mom says that on the 5th month, he seemed nervous and she figured he was building up the courage to ask her to go steady (this was 1951). She was wrong; he asked her to marry her that weekend -- after literally having only spent about 8 days with her. They will celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary next October.

Not sure why things have worked that way for me or for my parents. I think I have always been very selective about who I spend my time with. I choose quality individuals through involvement in quality organizations and activities. These were people met through church, music organizations, common trustworthy friends who share similar values and interests. I think who and where you spend your time certainly impacts exposure to people who have shared values, similar personalities, similar life goals. If I had spent my time at clubs or partying, that's who I would have been exposed to, but I doubt the relationships that would have come out of that kind of environment would have worked at all for me; that just isn't who I really am.