This struck a chord with me. I'm going through some stuff at work which is not yet resolved and it's triggering my anxiety - not good.

H said to me last night something along the lines of I mustn't let myself go down that road again, he and our son need me to be well. I thought it was fair enough, and could see why he was concerned. If my anxiety gets bad then it will affect my ability to function both at work and at home.

I did feel... a little ashamed I guess. I have always felt I am a bit of a bad deal for him, and I wish I was a stronger person for them both. Him saying this brought it back home to me that I do need monitoring, and in the past I have let them down with my fragile MH. Ashamed is the right word I think.

He also told me if work messes me around anymore he thinks I should quit. Not something I want to do. Like you I need my independence - my wages go into my account and btw I think it's reasonable for your money to go into your account. I understand where my H is coming from however, I had a pretty bad bump when I ended up leaving my previous job.

So yes, in answer to your question, my H monitors me, but in my case I feel he has good reason.