Sounds like the message isnt getting thru to your subconscious. Ive been feeling, for myself, even before hurting my back and crushing on my cute little chiropractor (honest!), that i needed to start being more adult with my t. Like ive satisfied my childish needs, lets move on. Hes probably thinking, omg about effing time. So if you really want to do stg special for your birthday, what would an ideal time with your t look like? Not pretending to be friends or artists together, but just being who you both really are together?