I'm unemployed and not in school. I occasionally work at an art center but I never get that much money. There are some days where I don't do anything at all it seems. I wake up, spend time online, eat, watch TV...on good days I'm able to write or paint or read a lot but sometimes I don't.

My self esteem has nosedived since January when I was supposed to sign up for online college classes but just....didn't. I feel like if I'm not doing anything worthwhile then I'm not worth much as a person. So it's hard to motivate myself to try and do more when I'm already depressed. And the cycle continues...

I don't drive, my transportation is limited to walking or getting rides from others, so I can't really go anywhere farther away by myself.

[trigger warning]
As I've grown more secluded my social anxiety has flared recently and my depression is worsening. I've been wanting to self harm again. If I don't do anything soon I'm scared I'll get back in a very dark place I used to be in.
[trigger warning end]

Is anyone else in similar circumstances? I'd appreciate advice but I also want to know I'm not the only person struggling with this right now... Thanks in advance