I'm confused.

I don't understand why a person can't be attracted to a person and why that person can't be attracted to them and why both can't enjoy that attraction - at the very same time as being careful to put some safeguards in place and making sure both act ethically.

I don't understand this. Isn't it normal to feel attracted to people? To enjoy their company? To enjoy their presence? Isn't it part of feeling human? If we keep away from people who we feel warmth and liking and affection for then isn't that sad?

I don't see that Okie has done anything wrong and I don't really see that this guy has either. I don't think it is particularly grand what he said about his wife, but I'd have a similar problem with someone talking like that behind their best friends back. Not a very nice thing for him to have done, but sometimes... Good people do do wrong. And he seemed to take that on board.

I say enjoy it! Don't set yourself up such that you might not be able to control yourself, of course. Don't spend too much time fantasising about him etc, of course. But enjoy it. Why the hell not? I think the ethics is more about ones conduct than ones feelings. So long as one has sufficient self control over ones feelings, of course. ANd I didn't think Okie was struggling with that...