I feel sad today. Not empty as usual, not stressed as usual (but always anxious), but sad.
And it's only my fault. I feel sad about the things I think other people think about me. I know I shouldn't care, but I end up taking things personally, mind reading a lot, creating bad scenarios.
If anyone shows some hostility towards me I must be doing something wrong, I must be as a person and they certainly dislike me. If I don't do something right I must be very dumb. In my mind anyone has a bad opinion about me at some point. Frequently I would say. That is why I am sad.

I want to apologize for never replying to other posts. I am selfish, I know. I am sorry for asking and never giving. And I want to thank everyone who is normally around and while having their own problems put their heart into helping others. I admire you and envy you too.