Hi Rainbow. Maybe it's been said already in past threads, but do you think that maybe some of the issue is that you seek or need emotional intensity, whether it's positive or negative--that without the intensity, a feeling doesn't seem real or genuine? Because that would explain some of why the good feelings are not sustainable--they are too high in intensity. The real, everyday kind of good feelings about people might feel bland to you or not even register, but they are the enduring kinds of feelings (at least, that's how I've found it). So that calm middle ground actually makes you feel anxious for something intense until you can get the next intense feeling?

Just a thought.