My therapist and I realized I have to deal with my trauma one event at a time. It started when my mother said it was OK for my cousin to touch me. She said it was childhood experimenting. As an adult I do not agree with that. He put things inside of me, touched, me and made me touch him for several years. I realize now it was not right! That was not my fault! What he done to me was in no way my fault and it was not childhood experimenting. It was painful, I was afraid and I did not know what to do. I will now have to discuss what happened and I am afraid that I will not be able to hold back my tears. Then I will be even more embarrassed. My T says one step at a time.

I think at the beginning when I learned to hold back the tears may be a good place to start.