I don't have a problem with anger. I have a problem controlling it. So we work on better ways to express it, like wailing away on a punching bag or hitting rocks into the water when at home, or mauling putty during a session, ripping up paper...just anything that's not hers or that causes physical injury to me or damages things I need (like my laptop). She has said it's a ptsd symptom to get angry like that when triggered, so it's not something I need to work up to, but is more something for me to soothe and calm down or recognize the signs and prevent. You sound like you need to work up to it, but maybe some of these same things will work for you.