With the last one, I thought it was me that was the problem, not her. And I think she thought it was me who was the problem, too, and that was a big part of the problem that was hers, the judgmentalism, a characteristic of her personality that wasn't so obvious to me, plus I wasn't looking for it, expecting her to be non-judgmental as part of her job.

Only I was in therapy to find out and fix my problems, so from that standpoint my problem WAS her problem, too. Or that's what I thought I was paying her for, in part at least.

It turned out that the problem I needed to fix was to be able to tell when it really was the other person's problem, not mine. But I paid far too much money for that lesson, I think. Should'a/could'a left 6 months earlier or more. Rupture without repair and I feel ripped off and stupid, despite the good headway I/we made for 5 years or so.

As you mentioned on another thread -- I also think that "ego strength" would be a good "goal" as one approaches the ending of long-term therapy. How one goes about attaining that rather than just dealing with the things that bring a person down -- I don't have a clue. Not sure my last therapist did either. :-(