I'm sorry, DadFMF. I'm not surprised at what the kids told you. That's what I was reading "between the lines." When someone disappoints us this profoundly, it may be best to consider the following: What she's done may be about all she's capable of. I don't in any way mean I excuse her. Right now you feel your pain, while she seems "cocky" and suffering no ill effects. There is a price to pay for everything. She has an awful lot to learn about life. There is a price waiting for her down the road that she has no idea about. The way she's been living does not lay the groundwork for a good future. I have no idea what her future holds, but she will probably end up in the company of persons with values like her own. That's not nice company to be in.

Your job is to be an on-the-ball father, ready to catch those kids when she lets them down, which she's already been doing. Don't worry about her. Life has some unpleasant surprises for her. Someday, you may find yourself feeling very sorry for where her gameplan will eventually take her. But guard those kids. She said they are her priority? Yeah, right. Make them your priority. Otherwise, they are going to be tossed by the winds of fickle fortune.

Pursue the dissolution of the marriage, if you feel ready to. Figure the best way to lay down some basis for stability for the kids and you. I'm sorry it has come to this. It sounds like the kids trust you. Or they wouldn't have told you. Let them feel safe to tell you things. Don't expose them to more adult anger than is good for them. You are going to need to protect them from what their mother may be willing to expose them to. I could say harsher things about your wife. I won't. She may truly be so ignorant that she just doesn't know any better.