No matter what I do, I always end up here. Or worse. I am so unhappy. I feel like there is no hope for getting any better, ever. I know that I have been here before, many times. I always think that I am going to stay feeling good but it just doesn't work that way. Why am I even trying anymore. I've thought about all of the money that I spend on counseling and pdoc visits. It's a lot. in a few months, I am not going to be able to afford that either. I'm overwhelmed at work. I feel like I cannot keep up or dig myself out of the hole that I am in. I talked to some other people and they feel the same way, so I know that it is not just me. I'm lonely. I don't think I will ever find anyone who will love me. My pdoc told me to go out and try to meet some people. The thought of that is overwhelming. I just cant do that. I don't understand my purpose. I don't understand why I am still here. What is the point? Why am I trying everyday. I will be glad when I don't have to go through this anymore. I'm tired.