I've been through a lot of losses in my life, including my second child in 1984 and my husband in 2016. I was undiagnosed when my daughter and parents died, which meant I was a hot mess who didn't know the difference between grief and depression. With his death, however, I've remained relatively stable because I'm medicated adequately AND because I do know the difference. It's made me more self-aware. I still have 'hiccups' at times, when one blends into the other and I feel all mixed up. But overall I think I have a better handle on my life, even though I hurt so much it's almost physically painful.