I was prepared to tell her today it was going to be a fight but she was sick so I couldn't tell her. BT I have reached the point of needing outpatient therapy for the next 4 weeks or so. So hopefully during that time I can tell someone. Even my Fred's have noticed the changes in me when I most on Facebook. I thought I knew all of my alters but I don't. There are two I don't know who they are. I'm self destructing quick fast and I a hurry. I'm drunk right now. Really drunk. I miss my aunt. I still grieve her it seems so unfair that she died and my other aunt is still living. I can't stand my other aunt I wish it were her instead. I can't talk to my mother because of her and I think that also affects me. I don't know. I know I shouldn't have drank but I just wanted the high. I'm currently looking for AA meetings to go to. I put a note up to remind me. I don't know where To go from here. My mother says I should go for disability but I don't want to I want to work and function like a halfway normal person bt I don't think that I will be able to. I think I'm at the end of my rope mentally.