I don't think it's helpful to label oneself as stupid. You can talk about the facts, which you do in the rest of your post. I am a firm believer that there's nothing you can do about "stupid." Not in a derogatory way, but it doesn't allow you to develop a plan of action. Your self-awareness is to be commended; to be able to admit you're non-compliant with your meds. THAT is something you can work on.

My suggestion would be to work on med compliance first, then take on the other things one-by-one. In my experience the only way I've been able to remain stable and make good decisions is when I've been compliant with my med regimen. Once that is in place, I can tell objectively whether or not meds are effective, what side effects they cause, and if making a change might be beneficial. Making hit-or-miss changes doesn't allow your body time to build up the meds in your system, and it doesn't allow for objective assessment of how they're working. Without this information, you're shooting in the dark and shooting yourself in the foot.

Best of luck with getting your compliance under control. If I were you, I would work on that first and put the stimulant consideration on the back burner. It's more important to get the BP under control than it is to get the ADHD under control. You can't do one without the other. The quicker you can get the BP under control, the quicker you can move on to working on the ADHD.

I know what it's like to keep stimulants around, and how seductive they can be. If you committed to your therapist that you'd give them back to the pharmacy, you should probably do that. The two of you decided it would be the best option for you, and you should make your best effort to honor that commitment. I can't tell you what to do with them, but that's what you decided in your moment of honesty and openness with your therapist.