Quote:
Originally Posted by Claritytoo
I couldn't find my t office yesterday even though I have been there twice before. I fking couldn't find and missed my appointment. I drove around for 40 minutes looking for it. I don't know why the f no one helped me. My system is confusing me now. We knew where we were before we moved so we didn't get lost even if we hadn't been there before. Now sometimes when I am driving I don't remember seeing most of the ***** I am looking at. But I know I have moved to a new state. Just sometimes nothing looks like I have ever seen it before. Sometimes I believe I couldn't find my way back to NY. but I can. if I need to. Sometimes I just want to get in the car and drive off. leaving everything behind. why not. But my dog wouldn't like to be staying in the car and than who would I be. I just want to see my grandsons. I just want them to know I love them. and that I didn't leave them. I am furious right now for the position I am in. I want my life back. wtf happened. f everything.
|
(((gentle understanding hug)))
I totally understand and know first hand what you are saying. I was going to my counselor's office a while back and wound up somewhere else, and couldn't figure out how I got there. It was very disturbing! I figured out where I was and got to his office, pretty shook up. There have been other times that I've been going somewhere that I've been several times before, and gotten confused and lost. The navigation system in my car that I have now has been a lifesaver to me. Sometimes though, even with it, I still find myself anxious and scared that I'm still going to get lost.
My counselor is relocating his office, and it is twice the distance from my home than his location is now. I'm trying hard to find a way there that feels safe to me. I've practiced the drive a couple of times. I'm struggling with some pretty intense anxiety of getting there.
Getting in my car and just driving away is a feeling that I have often when I get overwhelmed. I just want to get in it and drive, not caring where I wound up. Run away! It has come to me, that I can't really run away from this. The more I am aware of what's going on, the more I realize I can't run from it. I truly wish I could sometimes.
I do understand, if that helps. I'm here to listen and talk if that helps too.