Quote:
Originally Posted by Claritytoo
I couldn't find my t office yesterday even though I have been there twice before. I fking couldn't find and missed my appointment. I drove around for 40 minutes looking for it. I don't know why the f no one helped me. My system is confusing me now. We knew where we were before we moved so we didn't get lost even if we hadn't been there before. Now sometimes when I am driving I don't remember seeing most of the ***** I am looking at. But I know I have moved to a new state. Just sometimes nothing looks like I have ever seen it before. Sometimes I believe I couldn't find my way back to NY. but I can. if I need to. Sometimes I just want to get in the car and drive off. leaving everything behind. why not. But my dog wouldn't like to be staying in the car and than who would I be. I just want to see my grandsons. I just want them to know I love them. and that I didn't leave them. I am furious right now for the position I am in. I want my life back. wtf happened. f everything.
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before I was integrated this happened to me all the time. all through out my whole life I have a history of being the one who could forget how to get from one class to other in my childhood school years, forget how to make the evening meal or go to the store to get the evening meal, ...my whole life was full of situations of forgetfulness that went beyond what normal people went through.... my point it never bothered me and was never questioned by me or my alters or those around me. it was just my normal..
though I do have to say it did somewhat irritate me after I was integrated and it was still happening. but again it was more a situation of .... this is stupid you would think this would get better after I have all the memories of the others. ...
but then my treatment provider explained to me that even normal non dissociative people have times when they forget where they are going, how to get there, there is even a name for it when those who drive do it called highway hypnosis.
what helped me all my life with this problem even now after integration was/ is that just like normal people do, any time I had to go anywhere I call and ask for directions just in case,.. and I look at my map books, google maps and google earth, view the route and actually write out where I had to go and how to get there and distinguishing landmarks to look for. this way I dont get lost in my thoughts / head and forget how to get somewhere.
I cant help you with why this is happening to you now, why things have changed for you, but I can help you with a suggestion.... maybe you can do what I do... look at google maps and write out your route and in google earth follow that route in street view so that what your eyes see along the route will look more familiar, and also look for distinguishing "landmarks" and can help point you in the right direction,