Quote:
Originally Posted by finding_my_way
i can definitely relate. sometimes more than others, i have a sense of who "I" am, but it can also get very confusing. like you, i feel like it's this me who is mostly non feeling and does the day to day stuff. i try to keep things level so nothing happens like triggers (not that those are easily avoided) and try to be as 'normal' as possible (again, hard to do).
i don't have hobbies. there are TV shows i like but can't always pay attention to them. i don't have goals, dreams, aspirations, etc. because i guess my function is just to keep trying to live, though just surviving is getting old again. i try to pretend things are okay enough to the outside people.
as for the others/parts, i usually only feel things if it is their stuff. sometimes, i can feel something on my own, but usually i am just numb.
trying to figure out who i am outside from them is challenging. sometimes i think there is another version of me who is not me but not like the others either. that is confusing too.
i guess sometimes i am more just me and not so many other parts are around, but sometimes they can be.
talk about making/not making sense...haha
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That makes total sense to me!
I can relate to
"i don't have goals, dreams, aspirations, etc." There are some short term goals I have set, that I've achieved, but long term is just not there. I can't see myself growing old or much further beyond where I am right now. I'm not sure what that means, or what part of me that is.
It seems my days are also just trying to keep an even keel and appear to be normal. I've realized I don't really "respond" to situations (with thought and decision) it's more of a "reaction" which seems to be automatic. I'm not really sure what to make of that either.
My counselor has asked me how "I" feel about something and to be honest it seems like a total blank. I can tell him how the other parts of me feel, but not really "me." Don't know how to sort that out.