Hey. Sorry that life is sucking so much right now. I know that sliding back down into a depression is awful. Hang in there.

"I know that I have been here before, many times. I always think that I am going to stay feeling good but it just doesn't work that way. Why am I even trying anymore."
Hey- I can so relate to this. Because every time I feel good I think I have finally figured **** out and beat this. So when I got depressed again I felt like a huge failure. I can't even do crazy right! But lately I have come to start to accept mine is recurrent and probably WILL come back. But that doesn't mean trying is futile. Enjoy feeling good when it comes and work hard to keep that depression-free mood state. But if depression does shows up again, hang on and wait and keep fighting, because it won't last forever (even though it feels like it at the time).

Sending you some good thoughts. Be safe. Take care.