I left therapists in the past without struggle.

With this therapist, the thought of leaving felt traumatic, like it was repeating the relationship with my mother-erasing my feelings about her from my mind. Of course, I don't remember that even from the past. I don't remember having an attachment with my mother, so the detachment must have happened when I was really young, if it ever even existed. So the traumatic feelings didn't have words. That made it even more difficult to process, make a decision on. I think it's really difficult to make a decision if you can't assign descriptive words/concepts to events or situations.

It turns out I'm really glad i didn't leave this therapist when we had that huge rupture, as i am very happy with him.

ps answered unresolved attachment as that seems to fit best