Quote:
Originally Posted by MBM17
I, too, have a support group where I'm the only person with bipolar and the other girls have depression. It feels so lonely to me sometimes that I have often almost stopped attending. Even though supposedly depression is half of bipolar (according to completely uneducated general opinion), I've found that my depression is different in nature than unipolar depression. Even before I got my bipolar diagnosis, I knew there was something off or wrong with my depression/anxiety/illnesses from other people. Now it makes sense.
I ultra rapid cycle too. It's so frustrating. I have been really angry lately at how unpredictable my illness, even more unpredictable than many others' bipolar. It makes me feel like I have nothing to hold onto in life, like I'm standing in the middle of a tornado but can't get my feet on solid ground let alone keep my balance.
What do I do that helps?
Therapy
Medications
We work a lot in therapy on acceptance and focusing on the basic maintenance skills. I tell myself, "The chemicals will change again. They always do. That's the nature of bipolar. I just have to make it through this chemical shift." I focus on the most basic survival skills. Eventually the episode/feelings end.
DBT has been amazing. One of the four modules is distress tolerance. I use that SOOOOOOOO much. It's all about using skills to get through the moment until your distress is low enough that you can do something productive about it. Since our rapid cycles are chemical, aren't our fault, come on without warning, obviously cause extreme distress, and we have no control over when they end, it's really useful for me to just focus on feeling as best I can until the shift happens. Then I can start being productive again.
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Thank you, and everyone else who commented for the support ! I totally relate to the being angry with the illness and the lack of control it creates. My current treatment center does both DBT and CBT and I love both and am very familiar with the skills in both. I think I'm realizing I'm looking for something to stop the rapid cycling or at least better cope with it but even when I brought it up today with my treatment team they said there's really no skill for it. Except to use radical acceptance which I do think would help. I spend a lot of time ruminating on "why am I like this, why can't I cycle less often at least" and in the end it not only doesn't help but it makes me feel even worse. I just have a hard time accepting this is something I have to deal with at all let alone the rest of my life.