Letting your son stay there because he may be unsafe living alone is a legitimate line of thinking, IMO. Still, lots of persons with seizure disorders live alone. If your son's seizure disorder is well-controlled enough for him to be driving a motor vehicle, then he is okay to be living alone. And you were shoveling your son's car out of a blizzard's worth of snow because he was in "weakened condition?" I actually got to agree with your boyfriend on this one. (Though he should shut up because it's none of his business.) Your son is 27 y.o. Twenty seven years old!! And he lets his mother shovel his car out! You're making a baby of your son. He's well enough to be driving and holding down a job, so he can shovel snow better than you can. It's a disgrace that he would even allow his mother to shovel his car out. Missing a few meals doesn't make a 27 year old male weaker than his mom, who must be around 50. That's crazy. For an adult with a chronic seizure disorder, a convultion - even a gran mal - is usually not a medical emergency, as I'm sure the doctors have already explained to you. That's unfortunate that his tongue is sore, but he did not almost bite it off. It will be fine in a few days. Meanwhile, he can have protein shakes. Buy some Carnation Instant Breakfast packs. One of those shaken up with 10 ounces of milk will serve as a meal replacement till his tongue is less sore. (Don't try to stir it with a spoon. Shake it in a container.)

Your son's girlfriend left him because she is not in love with him. Your son lost his apartment because either he doesn't make enough money to support himself, or he does not budget his money properly. He needs to learn to do both. He should not be dependent on a girlfriend to help pay the rent, unless they are engaged to be married. You see a pattern in how you relate to the people in your life. You encourage them to be overly dependent on you. This is not healthy for you . . . and it's not healthy for them. That's the problem in how you relate to both your son and your boyfriend.

Speaking of that pattern, listen to yourself talking about your sister. You might leave and go stay at your sisters "to help her out." She has "a big life crisis," and you're going to go get into the middle of that. Let your sister sort out her own situation. If your sister and you would really like to be housemates and share a home or aapartment together, wait till the crisis is over. I've not known too many adult men or women who find living with a sibling to be a good arrangement for more than a short period of time. Neither have you. There are many good reasons why we don't hear of that arrangement more often. It seldom proves happy for very long.

If you are financially squeezed, then consider selling your home and getting into an apartment that is less expensive, if that exists in your area. Sometimes, it can be cheaper to rent than to pay taxes and upkeep on a home. Do the math. Don't make yourself dependent on your sister for a roof over your head. You'll just be trading in one form of aggravation for another. It will lead to you and your sister not liking each other very much.

You're not "stuck" where you are because of your son. You have chosen to let your son be more dependent on you than is necessary. I think it makes more sense to share a home with a son than with a sister, but neither arrangement is healthy for you. Your son is too dependent on you on a number of fronts.

It is very hard to move forward with anything, while depression is dragging you down. What I find works for me, often, is to not let a set of problems get real tangled up with each other. Try and separate them and, then, tackle one at a time. Getting rid of the boyfriend might be priority one. But don't do it to make your son happy. Do it, if it's what you want to do for you.

Priority number two might be this: Tell son that he can either move out or start paying you rent. It can be nice to let an adult child live with you for free, while that son or daughter saves up for down payment on a home. That system works very well in some families. But your son is not wanting to save to buy a home. He's looking for a way to not be fully responsible for keeping a roof over his own head. He was depending on the girlfriend; now he's depending on you. You can't afford to semi-support a 27 year old man. You don't have that kind of money. You need to take care of you. That would also be setting a good example for your son.

If you got boyfriend and son out of the house, you might consider renting a bedroom out to someone who might be looking to rent a furnished room . . . like, maybe, a student. But you would do that with a legal contract, and you would background check the person.

Early in your first post, you spoke of calling the police and having them come and remove your boyfriend - if he had said "one more word." I'm not convinced you don't have that as an option.