from L.P. post

"I guess I'm wondering if any of you know anything about learning to let yourself actually feel things. Can people do that? Are there books about that? As dreadful as this all seems to me, I would like to try to move forward with it, I just don't know how to proceed. Any thoughts would be appreciated."

one thing that helped me was when my treatment provider explained the difference between lack of affect and dissociation....

here dissociation is a normal reaction to a trigger.....

example being scared when a storm hit would cause me to feel numb, emotionless, detached emotionally from my body parts. like I was a watcher not a participant.

the solution to this kind of thing is learning how to not dissociate, learning things like breathing exercises, and other grounding techniques. by deep breathing and focusing outward on what is going on around me and stimulating my senses by smelling flavored foods and candles I was able to stop feeling dissociative kind of numbness.

where as lack of affect is when a person physically does not feel their emotions...

example when my medications or my bipolar disorders depression phase is causing me to have lack of affect I do not recognize my emotions. do not recognize being happy do not recognize the physical sensation of excitement, when someone tells a joke I do not feel that urge to laugh or smile, my expression is flat emotionless. if someone asked me what I was feeling I would say "I dont know what is a feeling?" if someone asked me what does feeling happy feel like my answer would be "I dont know what is happy" when experiencing lack of affect I may also laugh at something sad or when someone gets hurt rather than show sympathy or cry, I might show anger or cry during something that would be exciting or happy for others.

Some people that I know when feeling lack of affect sometimes bait others into making others feel bad or upset just to make others express their own emotions to take the focus of my own lack of emotions.

example someone I know at work will read an article and there may be something in it that she doesnt like, she cant at that moment write/ email to the publisher so instead of acting appropriately by saying you know every time I read this I see thingss I dont like so Im not going to read this anymore. this co worker tries to pull other co workers into her mental struggle. she walked over to me and said here can you read this and tell me what you think, doesnt it make you angry, or this person just doesnt know what they are talking about I bet when you read this it will make you angry. yesterday instead of getting pulled into her dramatics I turned the problem back to her by saying I didnt have time to read it but if it makes her feel angry or upset then dont read that article any more. this co worker looked at me with this flat stare to see if I was going to change my mind then went back to work. so far today she hasnt tried to make her problem mine. I know this co worker is on medication that is preventing her from showing emotions and expressing emotions correctly but its my choice as to whether I get pulled in to her drama and I choose not to.

the way to fix lack of affect is different than how to fix dissociative numbness. to fix lack of affect a person learns what emotions are,how to feel and express their emotions. sometimes a change in medications or other changes to a persons physical health will fix a persons lack of affect problems.

my point lack of affect is vastly different than dissociation. its the inability to know what emotions are, the inability to feel emotions correctly, its the inability to show appropriate emotions correctly,

where as dissociation is knowing what emotions are, having the ability to show emotions physically and mentally, but also having the mental version of numbness.

for books on lack of affect and over coming this problem.....if you go to amazon and type in the word "emotions" you will find many great books on how to identify emotions, what they are and how to express emotions. a great one is called name that emotion by erin olivio

for dissociative numbness which is different than having lack of affect you can do the same thing... go to amazon and type in the word dissociation. those books will be able to explain what dissociation is and how to use grounding like breathing exercises and focusing outward rather than internally to solve the problem.