From what I have read here and there in your thread, your wife has made a decision and she is not interested in getting back together with you. Your wife has been making decisions about "her" own life and has come to the decision that she doesn't want to be dependent. Plus, you were away for several months while she was left with the children and she made a decision at some point to get an education that she could support herself with so she is not dependent on anyone.

It simply is not worth your effort to try to convince her otherwise, her mind is made up. A couple can be married for several years and grow apart. We live our lives and grow and learn and can change our mind about what we want out of life. If someone has grown away from a relationship it's just not worth the effort to invest in trying to change that. Every effort you have put into that has proven to result with your being pushed away and her being angry and resentful.

It's time for you to let go and find someone else that "wants" to have a committed relationship with you. It's important you accept and work towards a future that doesn't stress your children and where you can be a part of their lives and they feel safe and loved by you.