I'm so sorry. I had to put both of my cats down 9 weeks apart. The last was 3 weeks ago today. It hurts terribly and feels like it can never get better. I still miss both of them every day. Time helps some but it's still hard. I have spent a lot of time looking for every picture I've ever taken of either of them because those pictures help replace the memories of the last days for each of them.

There's a thread on pet loss in the grief forum (it's way down on the list) that might give you a place to mourn with others.