Bluesguy, for me quitting drinking was a process. It did not happen overnight. Even when I was faced with losing my job, friends, boyfriend and my life, I continued to drink. I wish I could tell you the exact formulae for quitting, but I am not sure one exists. Getting sober and staying sober is not easy—it takes a lot of work and sometimes sacrifice.

I have been through detox/rehab 4 times and quit on my own too many times to count. What made me stick with it the last time? Not only did I realize my life was an absolute wreck, I had to believe that I could stay sober and that staying sober would make things better. I believe it is not just about hitting bottom and knowing you are losing everything important to you, it is also about being able to see a better life for yourself. Take some time to think about what it would be like to be sober. Get a good vision for what you want to be and then determine if you are willing to do what it takes to make it happen.

What did I do to get and stay sober? I went through 10 miserable days of detox in a hospital. Initially, every ounce of energy I had was spent on recovery. I did not go to AA so, I had to come up will another plan. Mainly, I spent all waking moments doing something that had to do with recovery—online support groups, reading recovery literature (including AA literature), going to therapy, seeing a psychiatrist, treating my depression, journaling, talking with supportive friends, taking antabuse, inventorying my feelings and dealing with them…and did I mention reading recovery literature? As long as my thoughts were on recovery, they were not on drinking.

I can tell you that my sobriety is one of the most valued things I have right now. I can’t imagine myself going back to drinking. I am sure the absolute misery of it would kill me. But, it is not the thought of the misery of drinking that keeps me sober. It is the joy of sobriety that keeps me from picking up that first drink.

Today, I have something I never had when I was drinking—happiness. Sure, sometimes the euphoria of alcohol or drugs felt good, but they drained all of the true happiness out of my life. I wish I could package up a little bit of the peace I feel and send it to you. It is not the loathing of the negatives of drinking that motivates me in recovery, it is the absolute joy of life that keeps me on track. Today, I don’t want to drink—I want to live.

Having said all that, I can tell you that today has been one of the worse days I have had at work in ages. The stress is getting to me. I am frustrated, angry…I feel like a failure. However, I will not go home and drink because of it. Drinking might make the feelings go away for a bit, but it won’t fix anything. Tonight, I will work in my recovery. I will do some journaling, reading of the literature and attend our recovery chat. Today, I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober…