Two questions:

1) for those of you whose therapist has explained their dissociation through the 'structural dissociation of the personality" theory (ANP/EP) - how was this explained to you and have you told anyone else in your family/friends about it? If you have, how have you explained it? I want to explain why I can seem happy and competent to someone I'm close to but simultaneously I'm neither of those and that's why I may react with depression, self harm (potentially won't mention this) and being more emotionally reactive to minor events/interactions that shouldn't normally be the case for most people. How do you explain a fear isn't just a phobia that you can counteract logically but actually more of a flashback, without using that word? I don't feel I have any significant trauma issues, more grief, and again I don't believe I should have these types of reactions due to that so I'm reluctant to say "i have little to traumas/grief" out loud.

2) do people generally with dissociation find mindfulness or meditation quite uncomfortable to think about, let alone do? I keep reading everywhere how calming it is and positive effect but when I've tried in the past it makes me freak out. I'm unsure why, it is just the case. I'd be interested to hear other people's experiences.

Thank you.