I had a fight with my boyfriend over my insecurities surrounding the relationship and made him cry. I immediately began feeling very awful about doing this to him and realized I'm so, so far from perfect.

What went down: I accused him of not putting his all into the relationship and dragging me along, along with details of why I felt so. I did it in a hurt and cold way. He was very, very hurt by this, since he says this was all out of nowhere. I also angrily said that my insecurities were so bad that many other people would break up at this point. I also accused him of probably wishing to be with someone else.

(sigh) I just can't believe myself.

I did my best to console him and make up, especially after seeing how hurt he was, and to explain that I was in the wrong and had not been controlling my anxiety. Either way, I'm seeing my therapist again soon and will discuss it with him.

I've had similar "outbreaks" of anxiety and the need to "defend myself" from my boyfriend, but those are my own issues. I don't want him to be hurt by them, and instead want to work out my anxiety in a healthier way with him. He is willing to listen. I just have issues with anxiety and likely the fear of being abandoned (something my family has done quite a few times to me throughout my life). These bursts of fighting energy have actually gone down over time for me, since I feel "safer" more and more over the relationship, especially since my boyfriend has gone out of his way to make me feel more secure and not hide things from me as much.

Does anyone have any advice for overcoming this? I think we have a chance for a great relationship, but this issue seems to be getting in the way. It's hard on both of us. Especially him. He's a trooper for not judging me for it, especially since he always seems to know that it's my anxiety causing it and it's short-lived.