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Old Feb 24, 2017, 10:22 PM
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Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: In my head
Posts: 1,787
When you go in and babble about your day, try to notice what feels worthwhile, what feels scary, what feels like chitchat etc. Often a fairly mundane topic contains within it the issue you need to work on. The trick is to make space for the piece that is important. The clue that it's important is that you have intense feelings attached to it.

For example, I once had therapy shortly after a work meeting where somebody yelled, left and slammed the door. I brought it up in therapy because it had just happened and I was shaken. But in that story was a thread of a recurring problem I have where I feel terrorized and immobilized by the anger of others, where I think it's my job to make peace and take care of everyone's feelings, where I'll do things that make me uncomfortable because the prospect of awkwardness seems unbearable etc.

The person who was in the meeting is a totally peripheral figure in my life, but the way I felt about the incident touched on huge core issues. There can be a lot of material in a small anecdote because (generally) how you do anything is how you do everything.
Thanks for this!
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