Shattered,
I can so relate to what you are saying. My family treats me the same way. It's incredibly hurtful. I just don't understand that kind of lack of compassion, but just know that there are people in this world who do understand, and who do feel compassion for you, even if these people aren't family.
I wish I had a family who wanted to see me and cared about me, but I don't. I'm just beginning to come to terms with that. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope, but I'm going to find a way because I will not give my family the satisfaction of reaping the sympathy and compassion that they have denied me by ending my own life. They are not worth it.
Know that sometimes, during the rough parts of our lives, self-love is the only kind of love some of us will have, but don't lose hope. Love comes from many sources. It's not coming from your family, but there are other sources. You have compassion and understanding on this board. Take that, love yourself, get through this holiday mess, and understand that mean people suck, so try not to care what they think. It's hard, but the more you can do it, the less miserable they can make you.