I have fantastic friends. When I can't eat, they feed me ice cream. When I can't get out of bed, they get into bed with me. When I am sad, they hug me or take me out for walks or let me rest my head in their lap while they do work or hang out.

But still I find myself longing for more. To help me go to sleep at night, I make up these fantasies in my head--about my mentors getting sick and me taking care of them, about me crying in session and my T putting her arms around me. I feel a lot of shame about that.

It feels like nothing will never be enough.

Does anyone know why the empty-inside thing happens? Are there people who don't feel like this? If so, how did that come to be?