That empty feeling inside -- boy, do I remember that feeling. Surrounded by family and friends, a job I loved, etc., that feeling seemed to just hang in there and I lived in constant depression.

It really did mostly go away a few years ago. I hadn't really thought about it until you asked the question. But I haven't felt that way in recent years.

I'm not sure what changed in my life that correlates with that feeling going away. I don't think it is an external factor alone. I think it has to do with the place I have found internally. Somehow I finally found a comfort with myself and my life -- a contentment. I think I finally stopped berating myself and looking constantly for my flaws, instead, I guess I've decided I'm worth liking myself, nurturing myself, and accepting my quirks.

I have absolutely no idea how to explain the process of getting to this place. For me, those years of therapy were vital because I had to get past my past so I could finally find contentment in my present, and my past was a mess. My past doesn't haunt me anymore; whereas previously my past seemed constantly present in my present, it no longer drives my thinking or my life. That alone has been incredibly freeing.

The rest for me was a very deliberate decision to be mentally healthy. Don't get me wrong. I couldn't have done that if I hadn't done the work to get me there. On the contrary, what I realized was that I was ready -- I had all the skills and had done the internal work, but I personally had developed a habit of not using those skills and not remembering what I had learned: I kept defaulting to my old habits of thinking and feeling and behaving. When I finally admitted that to myself, I literally made the decision to stop doing that to myself and start consistently putting into action what I was already capable of doing but just wasn't. In retrospect, that was the last time I remember that emptiness being a major factor for me.