It occurred to me as I was complaining to myself how all of our old notebooks got thrown away... I was looking without success for one old notebook, for something... I thought we had an old pinkish folder still left... I was wrong...
Anyway, it occurred to me that it would be really annoying and unproductive if the time line I have been working on got thrown out or vanished or ended up wherever it is our writing stuffs go. I can't seem to keep all of the time line info in my head, so if I lose the time line there is a good chance I will lose all the things that ole girl told me and all of the things that I remembered as a result.
That said... I am putting that stuff here in hopes it will not go kaput bye bye on me and that if it is here, not only I, but others in my system will have access to that stuff should they want or need it. Not sure if anyone is reading this, but if you are, this stuff may or may not be triggery...
Not so linear time line from Aug of 92 through Sept of 94... here's what I got...
-from aug to oct of 92
- i had the incident in the cemetery on a friday and the blow out with T tried to assault me and i got away by kicking the guy in the head. following monday JT got in my face and told me how no one could assault me like that since i was just a lil so n so. hat was when i slapped the piss out of JT. SS was the only person at my school during that time who did not give me crap for that T stuff. DtheS was the only one in the cemetery who seemed to care. Thanks DtheS, you was the bomb man.
- i was homeless at least five different times.. thrown out before my parents would threaten police intervention unless i came home. in that there was the time i blew up on my drama teacher over how knowing where i was sleeping that night taking priority over her stupid assignment. there was also the flip out episode at X's house when her dad was nice to me and how they all ate food there and talked to each other and whatnot. (side note that freak out at X's house was the time i dated DD for that week or whatever)
- i had a bout of pretty severe si and refused to participate in gym class over injuries... blew up on gym teacher once and then later got the boot for refusing to participate. SS was in that class with me and got the boot the same day as me for the same reason, i think. He used to have his own visible scares i busted him on once.
- this was the same time frame i had the overdose stuff happen to me
- two of my friends ended up in the psych hospital for sui attempts. that happened to each of them in one week, and that was the week before P (SS's best friend) pulled his sui attempt and SS fell apart all over me and i reacted poorly.
- oh i switched schools (went into 10th grade, previous school went up through 9th) and was overwhelmed by the size of the place and kept having shutdown episodes due to sensory overload that no one believed was happening to me... i got screamed at a lot over inability to function due to that crap.
- this pastor guy performed an exorcism on me during that time since my mother went on this whole jeebus told me to discipline you kick. she was not a nice person during those months, what with the you're a sinner and gonna burn in hell you slu* talk. god apparently told her i needed to hear that and to be randomly pulled out of bed a few times a week by my hair since i was such a horrible sinful bound for hell kinda kid. the pastor also threw out and destroyed a lot of my belongings during that exorcism since they were the devil making me do things or something.
Dec 92 and Jan 93...
- i flipped out and decided to leave state and run away. managed to get my one friend (LS) and her dude (Gdude) to agree to go (she had a car), so i lived in a car with them for at least a month before we got arrested.
-spent some time in a juvenile before my dad came to get me and drive me back to the state/the house.
- parents put me in a run away shelter again before shipping me off to the psych hospital.
- two of my friends left the school i went to before leaving state. Ggirland LS. I had known LS since we were five. Ggirl was my only good, as in well behaved not strung out on drugs friends, that i interacted with outside school. Her mom threw her out and she moved in with her boyfriend.
- When got back to school, i pissed off a lot of people by running away. Some of them stole a lot of my stuff since it got shipped back with LS, so a few of them took it as a free for all. That was a bummer since the pastor threw out most of my stuff before and i took what little i had left with me that mattered and my friends stole it from me.
-SS was so pissed at me for leaving him he refused to even look at me when i got home. That sucked because he was the only person at my school who was ever nice to me and he was the only decent human i knew back then.
- i blew up on a history teacher who told me and D we were worthless and would end up in the homeless shelter eating from soup kitchens.
- i got put on probation from my friends as a result of the run away thing and then my mom pulled me from school. i spent the next few months in my bedroom at my parents house. i dont know if i talked to anyone during that time or not, but i think i must have...
- oh and jan was the new years eve i spent with SW and we came to the next morning not knowing what happened to us, where we went, who we were with, we had nothing... whole night gone.
And now i need to make nachos... my stomach is talking to me...
-V
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no hugs or prayers pls n thx
(dx list: DID/PTSD, ASD, GAD, OCD, LMNOP)
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