So, we did have the family therapy session last night. And today I had my individual session, and we spent a lot of time talking about what happened last night. Now that T has met the whole family, he has a sort of master plan for our family therapy, and what needs to happen in order for the family system to heal and function healthily in the future. And yes, we will continue to have a family system even though at some point, we will be divorced. T says the way to proceed in our family therapy is really clear to him. Well, great!

I felt very proud to introduce my two daughters to him last night. These are my girls, they are part of ME. He said he used techniques in our group session to model things he wants us to do as a family. Truthfully, the last 3 sessions have been so jam packed with information on how to do things better in the family, that I can't remember up from down. I wish it was all written down. I feel like I am much more now getting to see T in action in his family systems mode, which is his training. I think he is a genius at it, actually. He is in his element. It is a bit of a relief to let him be in charge and manage the family session, since I always take on that role in my individual sessions. Nice to sit back and let the expert run the show.

Our focus was on the holidays (our first Thanksgiving apart in umpteen years), the recent separation of me and my husband, the loss of old routines and rituals, and the challenge of making new routines (the girls going back and forth between 2 houses).

My youngest daughter, who is very withdrawn and reserved, cried in session the first time that T spoke to her. She became very sad and started crying and pulled her hair over her face so that no one could see her. I slipped my hand under her coat and rubbed her leg, trying to give her some comfort. As my husband watched her, it looked like he was going to cry too. She is just so sad about the family splitting up but has been unable to express that.

All in all, it was a good session. We each got a chance to share and speak. At one point near the end, T said something that suddenly made me sad and a wave of sadness swept over me. I didn't say anything or even move or draw attention to myself or cry or anything, just continued to listen to what T was saying. T didn't even look at me, but said seamlessly to everyone, "right now, sunny is very sad, she is reacting to what I just said and a wave of sadness has come over her." I just felt so attuned with him, that he felt this from me without even looking at me, and wow, what a contrast, my husband would never even notice anything about the way I was feeling, or if he did, he certainly wouldn't remark on it. The way T noticed made me feel really cared for, like I and my feelings mattered. Before the session ended, he made sure to comment on something he had observed about each person and what they were feeling. It feels very good to be observed in a caring way. Everyone there mattered.

Oh, yeah, I know some people are going to be jealous of this, but in today's session, T read me a storybook, with pictures! He would read a page, and then turn the book toward me so I could see the pics, then read more. It was sooooooo nice.