Yes, the primary treatment for BPD is DBT. Meds are secondary (if used at all) and often don't help as much as one might wish, because the issues BPD causes are reactionary in nature. Meds can't change how one perceives and reacts to the world around them. They can't change interpersonal dynamics. What you describe sounds like the lingering issues of BPD that you are experiencing.

In others words, therapy, taken diligently is going to be your best bet for real change. Good luck!

Oops, forgot the personal experience question... meds have worked well for me, with adjustments time to time. But I'm fortunate to only (yeah, "only", right?!) have to deal with BP, because I don't have BPD. I've been on meds for about 10 years now.