It turned out, with my last therapist, that I WAS being judged or blamed. It seems to be just a part of her temperament, she doesn't often show it but it's there.

That's the way my family of origin was, too. Judgmental on the inside, nice on the outside. So most of the time in therapy I thought that was just my transference, but it wasn't.

I guess the question is for me, how do I deal with judgmentalism? I think I really need to see that, when it's there, as their stuff -- doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me. My last T thought it did, because she apparently believed that she had a superior or privileged position as my T. And it was something I thought was a problem, too, but I had come.for some help with it -- which she did not and apparently could not offer, just a social judgment of me. So, we terminated the therapy. I would really like some help, still, to a certain extent but I don't believe it's out there for me so I'll just bumble along on my own and see what happens with that.

Somehow, though, after I gave up caring that the T was judgmental toward me, that that was her problem, I am finding that I don't feel so much like a bad person myself. I explicitly, within myself, decided she didn't understand and so rejected her judgment of me.