I know that what AL is probably really hard to hear, ES, but it's sooo true. It's a downward pushing system, really...unless there is no other option, it is not something to aim for as a hope that help is on the way. Even the medical care associated with it (Medicaid) has such a low reimbursement rate to providers that it's really hard to find medical, dental and mental health providers who will accept it. Those who do accept it often have to limit how many they will take with that insurance.

You're so young with a big heart and desires for a better future, please aim higher than the disability system. This is not a criticism, but do try to stop drinking or go to a support group meeting. That may help with your confusion and memory loss. If it doesn't help to be sober, then that will help you get a clearer diagnosis.